A letter about the one asset sitting between your click and your card
Your ads changed forty times this quarter. Your page didn't.
Your ad account has shipped forty variants this quarter. New hooks, new thumbnails. Sometimes the whole angle, swapped out by lunchtime, because your media buyer holds the keys to that room and the cost of trying something there is an hour and some spend.
How many versions of the page those clicks land on?
Not a trick question. I already know roughly what the answer is, and it isn't your team's fault.
Every time performance dips, the same three levers get pulled. New creative. New audience. New campaign structure. Your buyer is good at all three, and all three live inside the ad account, which is the only room they have keys to.
So the ads keep changing. The page never does. Which means every test you've run this year has been run against the same constant: the one asset sitting between the click and the card, unchanged since launch.
01 Why nobody touches the landing page
Nobody's neglecting the page. They can't reach it.
Your media buyer can spin up a new ad by lunchtime. The page is a different animal. A dev ticket, a designer to brief, and a queue behind whatever the ecom manager already committed to this sprint. Trying something new there costs a fortnight and three people's goodwill.
So the team optimises what it can reach. Sensibly. And a year goes by where the ads have been through eighty iterations and the page has been through none.
Ad creative decides whether someone clicks. The page decides whether they buy.
Your team has been iterating hard on the cheaper half of that equation, because it's the half they can actually touch.
02 Standing still has a price
Most brands never put a number on it.
Run this on your own account, with your own figures. Mine are made up. Yours aren't.
Today · CVR 2.0%
With a tested page · CVR 2.6%
Believe the 2.6% or don't. Just notice you've never tested it, because nobody on the team had a way to.
Running lead gen instead of orders? Swap orders for leads and AOV for cost-per-lead. The same math holds, and so does the argument.
If the numbers above look like your account, send me your best ad and the page it points to. I answer within a day.
03 Where I fit
Think of it as adding a bloke to the team. Nobody loses a desk.
Your media buyer keeps the ad account. Your agency keeps the strategy. Your designer keeps the brand.
I take the one thing none of them own: the page in between.
That's the whole pitch. I'm not here to audit your funnel, restructure your campaigns, or tell your agency they've been doing it wrong. I write the asset that's been sitting untested since launch, hand it over, and your team tests it the way they'd test anything else.
No onboarding. No retainer. No standing meeting. You send me an ad and a page. Seven days later you get back the missing piece.
04 What actually turns up in seven days
Most freelancers send you six hundred words and an invoice.
Here's what a page built to survive paid cold traffic comes with.
Reddit threads, Amazon reviews, YouTube comments, the one-star complaints on your competitor's listing. How your buyer describes the problem at 2am when nobody's listening, which is usually nothing like your brand deck.
The big idea the page runs on, and which advertorial format carries it best for your market's awareness level. Get this wrong and nothing downstream converts.
Full editorial page, 1,200–2,000 words. One idea, structured so every line's only job is getting the next line read. Objections handled before your buyer thinks to raise them. A single CTA, repeated. Market rate guides put a page like this squarely in this range.
Three headlines and multiple CTA variants, ready to run against each other from day one. Your media buyer gets something to test on day eight instead of a single static page to pray over.
A spec sheet so your designer knows exactly what to build and where. The page reads like a publication instead of an ad unit somebody had to rescue.
"Advertisement" labelling and disclosure placement from draft one, instead of bolted on after legal has a moment. Claims review stays with your compliance team, where it belongs.
The page tied into your email flow as one system, because the money doesn't stop at the click. I came up writing Klaviyo before I wrote advertorials.
The page runs for as long as the offer runs.
05 The obvious question
So what's the catch at $575?
Fair question. Honest answer: I need proof right now more than I need your money. Conversion data on cold traffic, with a real brand's name attached to it.
Some background, since you're being asked to trust a stranger. I spent twenty-eight years as an executive chef. Group executive chef across luxury resorts in the Asia-Pacific, running twenty-million-dollar food-and-beverage portfolios and a hundred and fifty staff at places like Palazzo Versace and Amanpulo. Along the way I founded and exited an online video ad network, so I've sat on the selling side of the click as well as the serving side: what earns it, and what has to close it.
Three decades selling wellness and indulgence to exactly the buyer your advertorial needs to convince. Face to face, one plate at a time. And luxury taught me the one thing that transfers to any vertical: nobody justifies a premium purchase with logic. They buy the feeling, then hire their logic as a lawyer.
I once watched a guest send back a ninety-dollar steak over the sear, then order a second bottle of something he couldn't pronounce. I stopped trying to explain that years ago. You just learn to spot it.
What I don't have yet is a public number that says this page took a cold funnel from 2.0% to 2.6%.
So the first piece is $575, and when the data lands I'd like two things: the number, and permission to put your name next to it. That's the whole deal.
Once I have a handful of those, this goes away and the price is $2,500, which is closer to what the work is actually worth. This is the cheapest I will ever be. I'd rather tell you why than pretend it's a sale.
06 Risk reversal
Don't love it, don't pay.
You send the brief. Half to start ($287.50). Seven days later the page lands, and you get seven days to live with it.
Love it, pay the balance, and it's yours, research and all. Don't love it? Say so inside those seven days and the deposit comes back in full. Keep the research either way; it's yours.
I can offer that because I do the digging before I write a word, and because at $575 I'm backing myself to make you want the second one.
07 Capacity
Ten of these, then it's gone.
A page a week is a page a week, and revisions don't run on a meter. I can carry ten brand slots at this price before the arithmetic stops working. After that it's $2,500 and this letter reads very differently.
Agencies: different arithmetic. You're buying at volume, for clients who'll never know my name, and the ten-slot cap doesn't apply to you. Neither does the ten-slot price. Email me with "Agency rate" in the subject and I'll send the white-label terms.
If you've been meaning to test a pre-sell page for six months and it keeps sliding down the sprint list, this is the cheapest that decision will ever be.
Send your best ad and the page it points to. That's the whole brief.
Best-performing ad, the page it currently lands on, the product, and your monthly spend. I handle the rest, and I answer within a day, usually faster. I work from Australia, so your page gets built and tested while your market sleeps.
No form, no CRM, no sequence. Just email: don@donchristie.com
08 Things you're probably wondering
Seven days from when?
From the moment I have your brief. The dig takes two days, the draft takes the rest. If I'm booked, I'll tell you the start date before you pay anything.
What do you need from me?
Your best-performing ad, the page it currently points to, the product, and whatever reviews or support tickets you can share. I handle the rest.
Do I pay upfront?
Half to start ($287.50), the balance only after you've had the page in hand for a week and decided to keep it. Invoke the guarantee inside those seven days and the deposit comes back in full. It wouldn't mean much otherwise.
Will this step on my agency's toes?
Opposite. They keep the ads; I write the page they've never had bandwidth to build. Most agencies are relieved when someone else owns the landing page. If you're the agency, skip to the capacity section above. There's a lane for you.
Can you write the ads too?
Yes. Hooks and ad copy for Meta and TikTok. The ad and the page work better written by the same hand. That's a separate conversation once the page proves out.
Who owns the work?
You do. Copy, variants, research notes, all of it. I might ask to use it as an anonymised sample later. That's a favour, not a clause.
Why should I believe a chef can write copy?
You shouldn't, on my say-so. You just read a sales letter to the end. That was the audition. The spec sample is the better one, because it shows the format you're actually buying.
P.S. If you take nothing else from this: go and look at when your landing page was last changed. Then look at how many ad variants you've shipped since. The gap between those two numbers is the whole argument, and I didn't need to make it. Your own account did.
P.P.S. If you're not running paid traffic yet, don't buy this. It won't help you, and I'd rather say so now than take the $575.
Cheers,
Don